Category Archives: Mind

All you need is laughter: Why laughing really is the best medicine!

09 Sunday Sep 2012

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It’s more infectious than a cough or sneeze, and when shared, it’s the social glue that brings people together. Safer than medical treatments and free of side effects, it is one of the simplest ways to boost healing and well-being. This priceless medicine is fun, free and can be used anywhere.

Laughter; it’s the most obvious sign of happiness. I have to say, I always get a buzz from seeing live comedians and laughing out loud at their gags. Whenever I’m feeling down, I just watch some funny YouTube videos, and I’ll be rolling on the floor laughing. No one can deny that having a laugh with your friends is the most fun you will have, and it’s those hilarity-filled moments that you always remember. It’s so important we’ve even made up a language of laughter for when we can’t physically see or hear each other…LMAO.

“Like language, laughter is a basic part of being human” says Robert Provine a laughter expert at the University of Maryland. However, laughter doesn’t have to be learned; babies produce their first laugh when they are around three months old. Even so, laughter is very complex and sometimes it can mean a lot more than words. It evolves from a simple baby’s giggle into to a multifaceted social tool. We may be born with this innate ability, but the ability to utilise it socially is something we learn, stemming from the development of a sense of humour.

Stephanie Davies, author of Laughology: The Science of Laughter and one of the UK’s top laughter experts, says that there is a difference between laughter and humour. She says, “Laughter is a response; it’s usually the outward manifestation of humour but doesn’t always have to be about something which is funny. It can be used to fit into a social situation or it can be a way of coping with a situation.” Davies explains that humour is a system for processing information, which can change depending on age and situation.

For such an essential part of life, the study of laughter is still relatively new. However experts are starting to take the field of humour seriously by investigating the personal and social benefits of a good laugh.

The healing powers of laughter

Physical health

So what evidence is there that laughing can benefit your health and wellbeing? The most famous case is that of the journalist and editor Norman Cousins. During the 60s he was diagnosed with a debilitating spinal disease and had a very small chance of survival. Cousins however believed in the importance of environment in healing, so he left the hospital and checked into a hotel. Here he took large doses of vitamin C and watched continual episodes of Candid Camera and the Marx Brothers. Over time, he found that the laughter stimulated chemicals in his body, allowing him several hours of painless sleep. He kept up this routine until his disease finally went into remission and he was able to return to his job. All with the help of humour.

Since this groundbreaking study there have been numerous tests undertaken with similar results. For example, The University of Maryland conducted a study which involved showing people laughter-inducing movies to assess the effect on cardiac health. They found that laughter seemed to cause the blood vessels to dilate, increasing blood flow. Indeed there has been consistent evidence that laughter, over time, offers significant medical benefits. These include; strengthening the immune system, lowering blood pressure, improving heart and respiratory functions and regulating blood sugar. Surely a good reason to have a daily chuckle!

Mental health

There are also plenty of mental health benefits. According to Dr Frank Lipman, an expert in integrative and functional medicine, a good hearty laugh reduces stress hormones such as cortisol, and releases endorphins which elevate your mood. It allows you to relax, increasing your energy and helping you stay focused. Laughing also helps you keep a positive outlook through difficult situations as it shifts your perspective. It doesn’t just distract you from sadness, laughter goes a long way to make you feel better and give you the motivation to find a solution.

Laughter and relationships

Laughing is good, but sharing laughter with others is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. Laughing and playful communication strengthens our relationships by triggering positive feelings. It’s a powerful way to heal disagreements as well as uniting people in difficult times. Bringing more laughter into your interactions can improve the quality of every kind of relationship whether it is with friends, family or co-workers. It allows you to be more spontaneous, let go of inhibitions, and express your feelings.

Always look on the funny side of life

Paul E. McGhee, a pioneer in humour research, said: “Your sense of humour is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain that your daily mood and emotional state support good health.” Therefore, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is an excellent ability to be able to master. Here are a few ways to boost you daily laughter production and improve your sense of humour:

  • Experience something funny: The possibilities are endless. Watch a sit-com or a rom-com, go to a comedy club, visit a humour website, watch parodies and bloopers on YouTube or create your own funny moment by doing something silly with your friends. You could even try Laughter Yoga!
  • Bring humour into conversations: Share a joke or funny anecdote. Ask “What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you this week?” Banter with your friends – being able to make fun of them without hurting their feelings can be hilarious.
  • Learn to laugh at yourself: Take yourself less seriously. If something goes wrong, push aside the shame and learn to see the humorous side. Be able to make fun of yourself for example by telling an embarrassing story.
  • Look for the comedy in tough situations: Attempt to laugh at situations rather than complain. Life’s challenges are fuel for your imagination so think outside the box and uncover the irony in the circumstance. This will improve your mood and that of those around you, as well as helping you to maintain an optimistic perspective.

As you integrate laughter and humour into your life more, you will not only experience the physical and mental benefits but it will allow you to be more creative in your interactions and view the world from a more relaxed, positive and joyful perspective.

Go on, laugh your cares away!

Exclusive Interview with Liz Davies: Don’t worry, be in the moment!

07 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in 'Reasons to be Beautiful' articles, Interviews, Mind, Psychology

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Liz Davies, a qualified councillor and spiritual teacher, has worked in the mental health field for 12 years as a psychological well-being practitioner for the NHS, helping people with stress, anxiety and depression management and other common mental health problems. She recently set up Angelic Interventions, which offers workshops and one-to-one sessions combining psychological techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, with spiritual methods such as meditation. I had a chat with Liz about her new practice and the topic of worrying.

RTBB: What made you decide to set up Angelic Interventions? 
Liz Davies: I wanted to spread some knowledge about what people can do to help themselves feel better, and in my own style. Setting up this practice allowed me the freedom to tailor the sessions, and I’ve found that the mixture of the psychological and the spiritual works really well. I’ve always been on the spiritual side and after doing my spiritual teacher course I found that the methods really complemented the psychological work I was doing.  People often get ‘spiritual’ confused with ‘religious’, but they’re very different things. Being spiritual is more about appreciating yourself and the world around you.

RTBB: Why do people worry?
LD: A common reason is that people think that worrying will help them to control the outcome. People have the mistaken belief that it is helpful to worry and that if they don’t, they won’t be able to cope. They then get into a habit of worrying, and we don’t challenge it as it seems natural to us. It’s also about a need for certainty. A lot of people don’t feel comfortable with uncertainty so worrying becomes a way of feeling that you are prepared for the worst. However, uncertainty is part of life, so in a way worrying about the future is quite pointless because it puts us into a state of anxiety and doesn’t solve the problem.

RTBB: What are the negative effects that worrying can have on our lives?
LD: When we’re worrying, we’re basically not living our lives in the moment. When we’re dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we’re missing out on all the things that we could be enjoying in the present. Our senses are redundant a lot of the time because we’re so wrapped up in our heads or in distractions. When you’re living in the present you’re actually calmer, more alert and able to cope with things easier. If you fully engage yourself in the moment then there’s a lot to be found. The practice of mindfulness talks about paying attention to what’s going on right now by engaging your senses. For example, if you’re doing some work and are worried about the deadline, take a break and mindfully make some coffee. Notice the grains of coffee and sugar, listen to the water as you pour it in, feel the warmth of the mug and appreciate the smell and taste of the coffee. Savour the experience. This can be very relaxing, and if you apply this to your life generally it can lower your anxiety.

RTBB: Can worrying ever be a good thing?
LD: Worrying evolved as a way of helping us to solve our problems. If we weren’t ever anxious about anything or vigilant to any kind of threat, we wouldn’t care about anything and we’d never get anything done. So there’s a certain level of anxiety that we need to keep us on our toes and be able to solve a problem when it comes along. “What if” worries don’t help us because they get you into a spiral of negative thoughts which, in turn, affect your mood, making you feel more down. Catch yourself when you’re getting into a negative loop of worrying and switch your thought process to something that’s going to help you.

RTBB: How can people effectively cope with their worries?
LD: Sometimes it’s not a practical problem that can be solved as it’s out of your control. The best thing to do in that situation is learn to let go of your worry, and accept that it is not helpful to you. There are other things you can do, like distracting yourself in a positive way by doing something you enjoy. Anything creative is brilliant as in gets you into the moment and out of your head. You can also set yourself a ‘worry time’ where spend half an hour at the end of the day going through your worries. Whenever a worry comes to you during the day, write it down and literally worry about it later. Then, when its worry time, you sit down with your list and you might find that some of those things aren’t worrying you anymore. You might also find that some of them are practical problems that you need to solve, in which case you can use that time constructively to work out a solution. It’s also helpful to talk it over with other people. Putting your worries into words, verbally or on paper, can help you process it and even see a way through.

RTBB: How can cognitive behavioural therapy help?
LD: The CBT model says that we can’t change our mood directly but we can change our thoughts and challenge our behaviour. CBT talks about using evidence to question how acceptable the worry is. For example, if you’re worrying about failing an exam you would ask yourself “How many exams have I done well in?”, “How many exams have I worried about but went alright in the end?”. If you find that there’s not much evidence for the worry, you need to come up with a more realistic view of the situation. Accept that you’re nervous and that it’s important for you to do well, but realise that you’ve coped with exams in the past, you’ve revised and you can only do your best. CBT is about changing you irrational thoughts into more balanced and fair thoughts.

RTBB: How can meditation help people relax?
LD: A lot of it’s to do with taking yourself out of your buzzing thoughts and mental chatter, and bringing yourself into your body so that you’re focusing on your breathing, for example. Mindfulness of breathing meditation involves concentrating on each breath whenever your thoughts start to wander, which physically and mentally relaxes yourself. It can help you to learn to bring yourself into the moment and let go of the worries. The time out also helps you to just gain some clarity on things, and you’ll start to feel calmer generally.

RTBB: You mentioned about maintaining balance, how can people maintain a balance in life generally?
LD: One method is the see-saw model. On one side you have your worries and on the other you have your resources – the things that help you cope. If you’ve got a lot of worries, you need to focus more on making sure you’ve got enough resources in place, otherwise the see-saw will tip. It’s common when people are really busy for them to squeeze out the stuff in their life that help them. They think they haven’t got enough time, energy or motivation, so they just don’t bother. Resources can be a range of activities: exercise, mediation, yoga, spending time with friends, music and art. Doing things that you enjoy boosts your energy levels and it helps you to cope better.

RTBB: Anything you’d like to add?
LD: Don’t beat yourself up. The most important thing that I have learned is to be compassionate to yourself. Whatever your habits are, just accept that it’s just a pattern that you’ve fallen into as you were trying to help yourself. Forgive yourself and find a new method for the long term. Then it’s just a matter of doing new things – practicing to live in the moment, learning to let things go and making sure you’ve things in your life that give you a balance and bring you joy.

If you’re in the Brighton area and want to find out more about anxiety or stress management, come along to Liz’ free taster workshop on 11th August. For more information visit http://angelic-interventions.com/

Exclusive Interview: Linda Buckham tells us how to sell ourselves in the world of work

09 Monday Jul 2012

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Linda Buckham is Head of the University of Sussex Careers and Employability Centre. Her 21-strong team help their students make the best use of their degrees and personal attainments when choosing careers and applying for jobs. It involves a lot more than you might think, particularly in today’s very competitive jobs market. Their work includes helping their students to adapt to the world of work and to make good decisions when opportunities and challenges come their way. Confidence is key when looking for work, and their job is to nurture the confidence that comes with being well prepared. I was lucky enough to grab an interview with Linda about what it takes to make yourself as employable as possible.

Reasons To Be Beautiful: What are the first things employers look for on CVs and how can we make sure we’re getting them across?

Linda Buckham: First impressions are very important, so you should pay attention to your presentation – it’s what people will notice before they read a word of your CV. Good layout and structure ensures that a CV is easy to read, so you need to plan it out. Once you have the reader hooked they will be looking to see you meet their specific requirements but, more importantly, they will also want to know what separates you from the crowd and demonstrates your unique selling-points (what is commonly referred to as USP). Spending time on this stage is really important.

RTBB: What are the main mistakes people make on their CVs?
LB: Employers want a tailored CV – sending the same one for every opportunity gives the impression that the candidate has not taken the application seriously. Candidates should follow the criteria the employer lists in the job details and make sure that they demonstrate their key skills and experience with good examples.  Many people do not think enough about,‘telling the truth but making the truth fascinating’ (as the famous advertising guru David Ogilivy once said).  Employers get really bored with reading some of the bland statements that do not demonstrate any evidence of achievement that are included on CVs!

RTBB: How can job seekers make their cover letters and applications stand out?
LB: Again, tailoring all parts of the application is essential. Candidates should read the job details and make sure that they have matched their skills to the employer’s criteria. Also, they should consider the employer’s culture – what kinds of words and language do they use? Candidates can then borrow some of this language for use in their applications. Remember that the covering letter is a good opportunity to write about your motivations for the future and how these fit with the employer.  Have an enquiring mind and think about the employer and the kind of challenges that they are facing. Thinking about how you can contribute to this can help you to present a thoughtful application, so make sure you do some research about the companies and individuals you are approaching.

RTBB: How can we prepare for an interview?
LB: Prepare thoroughly! Start with practising how you will make a good first impression, as that way you will start on a high. Think of 10 points you want to get across – interviews are a two-way process and candidates need to make sure they promote themselves well. When you are preparing, say your answers to questions aloud as this will help you make them sound good for the real thing. Revise all your best examples – you are the expert on you, but you might not remember it all on the day without a significant amount of preparation and practice.

RTBB: How can people make a good first impression when meeting potential employers?
LB: Introduce yourself well; make eye contact, smile and shake hands, then say your name clearly and with gusto. Be pleased to be ‘you’. Dress appropriately for the sector but more formally than you would for the job itself. Keep clothes and make-up low key as you want the interviewer to notice you, not your clothes.

RTBB: During the interview, how can candidates make sure they sell themselves?
LB: Be enthusiastic and keep your energy level good – speaking too softly and slouching in your chair won’t come across well! Ensure you talk about your achievements and give solid examples. Describe your skills and experience clearly and give the listener a structure to follow: e.g. “I have 2 examples of where I …”. Top tip: Make sure you use ‘I’ not ‘we’ if you are used to working in a team.

RTBB: What qualities are recruiters mainly looking for in interviews?
LB: Employers are looking for good interpersonal and communication skills as well as academic qualifications and work experience. Often called ‘employability’, these softer skills are increasingly becoming the way employers differentiate candidates. Someone who matches the criteria for the job and who fits in well with the culture of the organisation is most likely to be successful. Employers will also look for an ability to learn and potential to develop.

RTBB: How important is it to maintain an online presence?
LB: In some roles an online presence is essential; for others, less so. If you know the sector you are applying to you will know which this is.  Your professional online presence should be that – professional! It’s very different from Facebook or other social media and should present you as if you are already part of the profession. Remember that you learn lots from being part of an online community; it’s not just about self-marketing!

RTBB: How can people make sure they separate their professional and personal lives online?
LB: Have two different sites, one for each part of your life.  Both parts of your life are important but keep them separate online and do not confuse them. Keep your privacy settings on Facebook very secure.  The photos you have on your professional sites should be work-appropriate.

RTBB: How can job seekers utilize social media on the journey to a career?
LB: In so many ways. For starters, much career research can be done online. Many employers, professional bodies and organisations have a social media presence. Join their groups and follow them.  Linked In is the place most professionals use. Have your own page as well and join groups.  YouTube might be good for demonstrating your skills; you could have your own channel so you have control of your presence. Twitter can be good for marketing yourself and you can follow other people who work in your chosen industry. Your own blog can show your writing style and relevant interests.  Follow other blogs and contribute to them in the areas of work you are interested in. Use the same name and have a consistent identity in all these places so people are sure it’s you! Make obvious links between all these media so people find you in all areas.

Don’t lose hope, there are so many ways you can stand out from the crowd. Maintaining contacts is also of utmost importance – stay on people’s radars and they will think of you when the next vacancy turns up. Make yourself known and don’t be afraid to show off!

Procrastination: The Causes and Cures

04 Wednesday Jul 2012

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Everyone procrastinates, let’s face it. Having spent three years as a student I am no stranger to putting work off to the last minute. My final year was the worst, not only the fact that I wasn’t keen on starting daunting assignments straight away, but that living with a house-full of avid procrastinators made us all mess around together. Working with words also lends itself to procrastination; I have had writer’s block on countless occasions, and instead of getting on with the task at hand I have found myself organising my photos, shopping online, and tweeting about how far behind I was.

Everyone is familiar with the “I’ll do it tomorrow”, “it’s not due for another week”and “ooh another drunk-person-falling-over video!” mentality. It is normal to procrastinate to some degree; at least 95 percent of people say they procrastinate occasionally. So why do we choose to put ourselves in stressful situations by leaving it to the eleventh hour? It only brings panic, guilt and disapproval for not meeting deadlines. These feelings can encourage further procrastination. It can become a vicious circle.

Why procrastinate?
Psychologist Neil Fiore, author of The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt- Free Play, has suggested procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety involved with completing a task. Others such as Dr. Piers Steel, one of the world’s leading researchers in motivation and procrastination and author of The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done, suggest that low self-confidence and a dislike of the task play a role. There have even been links to Freud’spleasure principle – we put off what we don’t want to do, thinking it will bring on negative emotions, and instead fulfil our desire to feel good by taking part in distractions.

However, Piers Steel indicates impulsiveness is a key factor. He says that most people who procrastinate are impulsive as they value what they can have today more than what they can have tomorrow. Steel suggests we’d rather do something that has immediate rewards, like checking Facebook, than study for an exam that is weeks in the future.
Interestingly, this is an adaptive natural tendency. Clinical psychologist Nando Pelusi, author of The Ups and Downs of Ambition, states that our ancestors were more worried about survival on a day to day basis. Short-term thinking was essential, but planning was limited to solving immediate problems. Thinking about the future was a distraction from survival. This may no longer be an issue today, but it is harder to get down to tasks that don’t give us short-term pleasure and may cause short-term pain.

Joseph Ferrari, author of Still Procrastinating? The No Regret Guide To Getting It Done, states that everyone procrastinates, but not everybody is a procrastinator. His research suggests 20 percent of people in the U.S. are chronic procrastinators, which is much more than it used to be, and higher than those diagnosed with depression and phobias. Technology may have something to do with this; we have no end of distractions at our fingertips which can serve as instant rewards.

Before you can think about overcoming procrastination, it is important to understand that there are different kinds of procrastinators. Pamela Wiegartz, author of The Worrier’s Guide to Overcoming Procrastination, suggests that some people delay tasks on purpose so that they have the challenge of the looming deadline to motivate them to work hard. They have no desire to change as they feel in control of their time and live in the moment. These are known as active procrastinators. Timothy A. Pychyl, author of Procrastinator’s Digest says that the idea that they work best under pressure provides additional enjoyment and motivation to procrastinate. Other people, however, may delay tasks because they worry about failing, have perfectionist expectations and are indecisive; They are known as passive procrastinators, and can experience constant stress and anxiety.

Tips for Productivity
Whether you’re an active or passive procrastinator, and you want to combat the problem, trying harder to get things done will not work. You must first understand the cause of your procrastination – be it distractions, avoidance of tasks you dislike or fear of failure – before you create a long-term solution.

  1. Banish distractions: distractions are a major cause of procrastination. The urge to chat with your friends, check your e-mails and play games can often sidetrack you from the task. You can minimise online distractions by downloading a program called ‘Cold Turkey’ which temporarily blocks your access to popular social media sites, websites and online games. Create a tidy workspace, preferably work alone, and then schedule time to see friends so you’re not completely out of the loop.
  1. Be decisive: people with a perfectionist mindset spend too much time making decisions about their work. Yes, it is important to weigh your options carefully and make informed decisions, but time can be wasted, delaying the project further. Avoid this by setting aside some time each day for making decisions and set a date for completing this process.
  1. Get organised: if you have a lot of small tasks to complete and don’t know where to start, prioritise them by making a list of them all and ranking them in order of importance, based on when they’re due. Then set yourself mini-deadlines to finish a few every day. For complex, daunting tasks, break them down into easy to handle chunks and set goals for completing the individual sections.
  1. Increase rewards: to make a task feel more immediate, focus on the short-term rewards. Treat yourself to a coffee break or a quick chat with a friend once you’ve finished a task.
  1. Believe in yourself: A fear of failure causes the passive procrastinator to put off work. They will subconsciously delay the completion of the project because they are nervous about the result or reaction. To overcome this type of procrastination, visualize yourself succeeding in the project and imagine the steps that you will need to take in order to succeed. Once you have visualized the steps, act on them.
    So don’t put off what you can do today! Find motivation in the fact that when all your work is done you’ll feel so much better for it, and you’ll be able to immerse yourself in all distractions you desire…

How to keep your cool during public speaking

24 Sunday Jun 2012

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that speaking in public is the most terrifying thing you will ever do in your life. Heart racing, uncontrollable wobbly knees, parched mouth, and hands shaking like jelly…sound familiar? Even the most experienced performers and business people get the jitters when it comes to public speaking. It takes guts to stand up in front of an audience and give a well-structured, interesting talk. Be it giving presentations, making speeches or even having an interview, we will all come across public speaking, which is why being able to cope with it is an excellent skill to have.

I have a particular disliking for public speaking. I’ve had to give several presentations throughout my university life. I would dread the experience and worry that I would lose the ability to control my arms and legs and, in turn, make a fool out of myself. Beforehand, my palms would begin to sweat and my heart would beat 100 times a minute. When it came to my turn I would be a nervous wreck and my mind would go blank. During the presentation I would read straight from my notes, speak so quickly that I couldn’t breathe and just want it to be over. On one occasion, my legs did literally feel like jelly and I had to sit down for the rest of the presentation.

In short, my fight or flight response to a threatening situation was overactive due to my maladaptive thoughts, which impeded my ability to function. If you are prone to feeling nervous, like me, presentations can be the most stressful situations you can be placed in. Natural reactions to public speaking shouldn’t have to hinder you from getting your message across. According to Bryan Salter, author of Effective Presenting, nerves can actually be a good thing; they get the adrenaline flowing in order to help you give the best performance. Beyonce once said, “I get nervous when I don’t get nervous. If I’m nervous I know I’m going to have a good show”. So there is no way to not be anxious, you just need to learn how to embrace the nerves. This can be done through a combination of learning to control your mind and body.

Using these 10 steps should help you tackle any situation confidently.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Think Positively: Negative attitudes are the root of public speaking anxiety. Thinking that you will be unable to control your body and therefore seem incompetent to the audience will actually make your fears come to life, in a vicious circle. In A Complete Guide to Public Speaking, author Jeffrey P. Davidson suggests that visualisation and affirmation can help dispel negative thoughts. In advance of the event, before you go to sleep, visualise yourself presenting to the audience confidently, speaking articulately and inspiring the audience. Imagine how happy you will feel when everyone applauds at the end. Then reaffirm this by replaying it over and over, telling yourself “It can be done”.

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Practise, practise, practise: You’ve written your speech and now you need to rehearse. Management Guide, F. John Reh suggests delivering your speech to yourself out loud to see how it flows. If possible, practise it on one or two people, and keep rehearsing until you are comfortable and familiar with your speech.

Breathe: The best way to regain control of your voice is to control your breathing. Before the presentation, make an effort to take long, deep breaths to calm yourself. Continue this during the presentation, making sure you give yourself pauses to breathe.

Keep your hands busy: If you’re shaking like a leaf and need something to do with your hands, hold on to cue cards (much less obvious than rustling paper) or, if possible, lean on a table or hold on to the lectern. Remember that you feel more awkward than you look.

Pace yourself: Speaking too quickly is a common effect of the extra adrenaline, and can stop you from breathing properly. Actively slow down your speech, taking in every word as you read it. Pausing can also help, especially between sections in order to help you and your audience mentally prepare. Have a glass of water handy in case you get a dry mouth, and drinking it will give you more time to collect your thoughts.

Use words you know: It sounds obvious but there is no need to use fancy long words and jargon if you’re going to worry about forgetting them. Don’t panic if you can’t remember a specific, elaborate way you were going to say something, the audience won’t know this. Just concentrate on articulating your message in simple terms and it will help you and your listeners.

Don’t think of the audience as the enemy: according to Aaron Beck and Gary Emery’s Anxiety Disorders And Phobias:
A Cognitive Perspective, in public speaking situations, your body uses a primitive defence response that was once evolutionary useful when there was possible danger. This however does not mean the audience is a threat. They are not there to judge you; they are ordinary people who recognise public speaking is daunting and just want you to do your best. Avoid making a barrier between yourself and your listeners by establishing eye contact. Visualisation can also come in handy here – imagine the audience is made up of a few of your close friends, or alternatively there is the old favourite of imagining them stark naked!
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Be enthusiastic: You’ve done the research and prepared your speech so you should be an expert on the topic. Enjoy the fact that you are sharing your wisdom with the audience and they will be genuinely interested.

Smile!: When appropriate, smiling can make your voice more animated. According to Management guide, F. John Reh, a smile will help your audience respond more positively to you and it will also help you feel better.

Be yourself: Don’t pretend you don’t suffer from nerves, this only makes things worse. It is okay to admit you are nervous at the beginning – the audience will understand. The truth is, you’re not a comedian or a politician, you’re an ordinary person trying to get your message across. Don’t try to be something you’re not and focus on speaking clearly and confidently.

Does body modification boost self-esteem?

18 Monday Jun 2012

Posted by in 'Reasons to be Beautiful' articles, Beauty, Lifestyle, Mind

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I don’t think there are many people out there who can safely say that they have never altered their body in some way. Growing up, we are surrounded by celebrities and now influencers who have enhanced their image through body modification, and we are conditioned to think that we should be like them.

I remember the reason why I begged my parents to let me get my belly button pierced was because Britney Spears had it done. They refused, which I’m glad they did. So I waited until I left home, when I was old enough to make sure it was still definitely what I wanted, not what the media said I should do.

From make-up and hair dye to piercings and tattoos, there are endless options when it comes to customising our bodies. And there are many reasons why people make these modifications:

  • to fit in with beauty ideals
  • to mark that they belong to a certain group
  • to be rebellious
  • to show self-expression

…all of which may increase self-esteem. But sometimes these can be taken too far, which can affect wellbeing, and therefore self-esteem, while negative perceptions could reduce self-esteem further.

Make-up and hair dye

In a study carried out by Superdrug it was found that one in three women wear make-up every time they leave the house, and six out of ten won’t go to work without applying cosmetics. Sara Wolverson, of Superdrug, argues that make-up is not about vanity, but giving women the confidence to succeed.

In terms of hair dye, about half of women say they regularly colour their hair, according to a poll conducted by ShopSmart. And a study commissioned by Clairol revealed that women who dye their hair blonde feel more attractive to the opposite sex and are generally more confident.

However, we shouldn’t have to conform to unrealistic beauty ideals the media has created in order to feel better about ourselves. Encouragingly, there are now more and more images of normal, natural women in the media, like the Dove campaigns embracing all body shapes, colours and hair types and this is fostering more body acceptance and positivity.

Piercing and tattooing

Once associated with rebellious sub-cultures these are now becoming more mainstream. According to a survey issued by Laumann & Derick, of 500 people between the ages of 18 and 50, 24% reported having a tattoo and 14% had a body piercing in a location other than the ear lobe.

A study by Carroll & Anderson has suggested that individuals who were moderately to heavily tattooed have an increased sense of self-confidence. Tattoos can commemorate an important experience as well as help people move on from negative experiences.

Sociologist Michael Atkinson has found that trauma victims, those with disabilities or serious illnesses, or marginalized groups, may tattoo themselves as a way of claiming positive ownership of their own bodies. Tattooing can therefore heal, empower and promote body acceptance and self-esteem.

Unfortunately, tattoos and piercings can sometimes be seen by otheres in a negative way, which could affect self-esteem. According to career website, Valut.com, more than half the managers surveyed would be less likely to hire an applicant with obvious tattoos and body piercings, which could make those fitting this description feel like they’re being punished for their form of self-expression.

Look good, feel good?

I agree with this mantra to a certain extent. I know I feel a bit better when I’ve just coloured my hair or got a new piercing. Not only does the small change give you a boost, but the compliments that follow can also raise your self-confidence.

But this mantra can only be sustained for so long. Lasting self-esteem comes from within, in the form of self-acceptance of our bodies, as well as our minds. Confidence in your beliefs and actions will shine through, no matter what you look like.

Can body modification be taken too far?

Some attempts at body modification can have unintended negative consequences that might reduce self-esteem. We all know that too much make-up can cause skin problems, hair can be damaged from over-dyeing, and piercings can cause infections and irritations, yet we continue to apply, dye and pierce.

Many women seek to create a ‘Barbie’ image by dyeing their hair bleach blonde, using tanning beds and wearing heavy make-up. It’s as if they’re wearing a mask to become that idealised image of beauty in order to boost their self-esteem, at the detriment of their health.

That said, celebrities like Lady Gaga take their various alterations to the extreme for the sake of art. It’s also a way of expressing and experimenting with their identity, which empowers others to do the same.

Modification in moderation

  • As with everything, I believe any alterations should be in small doses and shouldn’t be too drastic
  • If you decide to modify yourself in some way, and for whatever reason, make sure it is your own decision
  • You should be 100% certain of the change you want and aware of the potential consequences
  • If you aren’t sure about a more permanent modification, there are many ways to ‘try before you buy’, such as semi-permanent hair dyes, stick-on gems and of course transfer and henna tattoos.

At the end of the day, you’re in charge of what you do with your body, and you are beautiful whatever you decide to do.

As Mother Monster would say, ‘There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are’.